Hitting the bar or loitering with a shopping cart in the grocery store might not be the only option for meeting someone special. For those single Internet users who want another way, there is the huge and growing option of online dating.
The truth is that online dating continues to be on the rise partly due to career and time pressures, and also the increased chance of meeting somebody due to the numbers of online daters. The bottom line seems to be that online daters do not want to be alone and many lose patience that they will be able to find someone the “natural” way. Internet dating may become the norm (in time) given its growing popularity and convenience.
A TopDatingTips.com article titled "Dating Rules" suggests daters be "proactive" and that "the man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell...” Online dating is a great example of being a "proactive" dater and it's no wonder that many singles are trying it.
What You Should Know When Choosing an Online Dating Site
The top dating sites are loaded with members and growing. Match.com boasts it has “more than 5 million members”, Lavalife.com claims to have “tens of thousands of local members” and eHarmony alleges to have “millions of candidates”. Each of those top three sites requires a paid membership.
Whole new breeds of free online dating sites are emerging for daters who do not want to fork out the cash in order to find love. Some are sceptical first time users, others are just looking out of curiosity, and still others are looking for a more economical way to find love in this down turned economy. Whichever it is, the bottom line is that, for some it does work.
A 23-year-old free online dating member, who would like to be referred to as Vic, said in a Suite101 interview that he met his long-term partner on Plentyoffish.com; one of the more popular free online dating websites. Vic says that what brought him there was the fact that he was not much of a “bar goer”.
Internet dating, though boosting huge numbers, seems to have few people that will openly admit to trying it. There is some sort of stigma attached to Internet dating that says that if single people can’t meet someone the natural way they are a failure.
“That’s why I was hesitant in the first place; people might think I’m giving up, I made it like a big secret,” Vic said, dipping his head and reddening a little.
Zachary Appanaitis, in his article " The Stigma of Internet Dating ” says that “some view online dating as a last resort…they may feel their use of a dating website indicates they failed…”
The Problem of Being Misled in Online Dating
One of the other problems Vic mentioned, was that daters have to trust the online dater they have never personally met, is who they say they are. Like Konstantine’s joke at the comedy club, the photo that appears is not necessarily the person an online dater meets. With photo editing, cropping and programs like Photoshop there is no certainty that the picture daters see when looking at a dating profile is the person they are communicating with.
At the very least, before considering online dating, first listen to Brad Paisley’s country song, “I’m So Much Cooler Online” a comical warning about false impressions on the Internet, just as Konstantine’s joke warns about.
Besides false impressions, what happens if there is just not a connection?
Vic admits that before he met his special someone he went on a disastrous date. After that he stopped online dating for awhile, until one day he gathered the courage to try again. He saw the picture of his partner now, was attracted, and sent an email. “Things escalated from there, it was an instant connection,” the newly engaged Vic said with a smile, “I sent that email two and a half years ago and I’ve never been happier”.
The Advantage to a Paid Membership
While online dating works, in some cases, it’s not full proof, and users claim they have to sift through a lot of inappropriate users and phonies in order to find that quality someone they are looking for. This is what gives the pay sites the advantage. The people who are using the paid service are not there to waste time sifting through phonies. Pay sites would detract most phonies and many inappropriate users.
Often sites offer compatibility tests. For instance, eHarmony boasts that it has tests that are “based on 29 Dimensions of personality that are scientifically-based predictors of long-term relationship success.” These tests do the sifting for the online dater and offer up the best choices right to their inbox, making the success of a member finding a match much easier than sifting through the profiles on their own.
Vic, though having had a bad online dating experiences as well as a successful experience, still recommends online dating, “but with discretion” he says.
Before entering the world on online dating consider a paid membership, don't get discouraged if it takes awhile to make a connection with someone and be aware that there is always a chance of being mislead. Happy safe online dating!
Source:
TopDatingTips.com. Dating Rules (accessed February 22, 2010).
Anna Srigley - Hi! I'm Anna; a graduate from the University of Windsor with a B.A. degree in English Language and Literature. I've always had a passion ...
